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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or a bad thing?

#countries #children #school #law #work
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Children, below the age of 16, are not permitted to work full
time
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 at the expense of
school
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, as per laws in some countries. In my opinion, studying at
school
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 is more important for students under 16 as compared to engaging in a full-
time
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 job as personal development and a secured
future
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 is possible with studying at a young age. With regards to the development of efficient qualities in an individual,
children especially
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children, especially
 under 16 years, should spend
time
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at
Suggestion
in
school
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 rather than working full
time
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. The reason for
this
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 is that
school
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 education will allow them to carve out their talent, so that they can choose a carrier based on personal interest.
This
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 ability to opt for interest-driven carrier is only possible with
school
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 education and not with the full-
time
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 job.
Moreover
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, education at a young age will help children develop into an independent adult later.
Furthermore
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, getting involved in a full-
time
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 work exposes students below 16 to exploitation. Children under 16, being naive, might be made to engage in hard manual labour.
This
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 is a serious issue which could impair a child’s
future
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, and the government, taking measures and legal actions to prevent
such
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 exploitation of children is an essential step towards securing their
future
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. Another reason for banning under 16 pupils from working full
time
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 is that,
although
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 the payment for the work may attract pupils
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initially but
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initially, but
 it will jeopardize their
future
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 when they have limited
carrier
the particular occupation for which you are trained
career
 options to choose from. To conclude, I believe that government should protect children, under 16, from full-
time
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 job and ensure their attendance at
school
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.
Submitted by jchain22 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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