Social media is popular and used by many people. However, some people think that social media can be bad for mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #people #health

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It is undeniable that social

media

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plays an essential role in

this

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contemporary world.

However

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, plenty of people think that social

media

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has a detrimental effect on mental health. In my opinion, I agree with

this

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statement. On the one hand, it is undoubted that social

media

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is a valuable tool to keep in touch with families and friends, especially when we are not able to meet in person since living in different places.

For example

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, students studying abroad are able to communicate and connect with their loved ones by making video calls or posting on social

media

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platforms

such

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as Facebook or Instagram.

As a result

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, they not only stay connected with their families but

also

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receive support in case of

any

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emergency.

Moreover

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, businesses can approach their clients easily by creating content about their brands.

For instance

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, most clothing stores in Vietnam usually promote their products on social

media

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platforms to attract more customers.

Consequently

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this

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will contribute to the improvement of their business and increase their brand awareness

On the other hand

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, I believe that social

media

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can have a detrimental impact on people’s mental health, especially young individuals who tend to prioritize online communication over in-person interactions. If they spend most of their time surfing the platforms, they may neglect their studies, hobbies, and relationships, potentially causing feelings of isolation.

As a result

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, the constant pressure to maintain a perfect online image can exacerbate anxiety and depression, particularly in vulnerable individuals.

Furthermore

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, as social

media

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becomes more popular, online crime

also

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increases, as it is challenging for the government to control all online activities effectively.

For example

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, scammers can contact a victim by phone or message, and require the victim’s information. If the victim provides it to them, their bank account will be completely emptied, or their personal details will be sold to others willing to pay for it. After that, with just one call, the victim not only remains unaware of the caller’s identity to report but

also

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increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

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level

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the level

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of concern on social

media

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As a result

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, they may be less likely to believe any messages received by phone and have a negative impression of anything related to technology. In conclusion,

while

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social

media

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has its benefits, it can

also

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have

negative

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a negative

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impact on people’s mental health.

Therefore

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, it is crucial to use it wisely to minimize its adverse influences.

Submitted by weezel on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent for achieving a balanced perspective. However, to improve, consider elaborating more on the positive aspects of social media and providing more varied examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, you can enhance coherence by using more explicit linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas. For example, transitions like 'furthermore' and 'on the contrary' can be used more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear thesis statement and a summarizing thought.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the ways students stay connected with their families and the impact on businesses, which help in supporting your arguments effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

396 words

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Social media is popular and used by many people. However, some people think that social media can be bad for mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people think that teachers are no longer needed because students can study via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?