IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world,
both
Use synonyms
gendars
a grammatical category in inflected languages governing the agreement between nouns and pronouns and adjectives; in some languages it is quite arbitrary but in Indo-European languages it is usually based on sex or animateness
genders
agendas
fenders
 are
strugling
engaged in a struggle to overcome especially poverty or obscurity
struggling
equaly
to the same degree (often followed by 'as')
equally
 to accomplish their goals and dream which has changed traditional
household
Use synonyms
 practices, compared with the early days, but numerous individuals believe that with an
ocupied
held or filled or in use
occupied
 lifestyle,
household
Use synonyms
 tasks should be shared amongst parties.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the sharing works among the partners to spend happily married life.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In the early days, men used to earn money while women spend time in the house doing day to day
work
Use synonyms
. With the development of the world, the human need has been expanded due to the high availability of goods and services, which involves money and wealth. So nowadays
both
Use synonyms
 husband and wife doing jobs have become compulsory. Traditionally
household
Use synonyms
 tasks like cooking, washing garments, taking care of children where women's tasks while men
work
Use synonyms
 for the there family but now it has changed completely.
Secondly
Linking Words
, It is so unfair if the female has to
work
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 tasks alone while working full time because working full time is extremely difficult.
For example
Linking Words
, performing a full-time job is stress full, after the stress full job doing
household
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 by themselves may lead to the psychological problem. Those who perform
both
Use synonyms
 will not able to do there
both
Use synonyms
 works correctly. Eventually, modern-day many general populations consider that men and women shire there works when
both
Use synonyms
 are doing jobs, but some still believe women do all the works.
In addition
Linking Words
, working together is most essential to spend quality
famaly
a social unit living together
family
 life. Teamwork will build up together as long as working with each other.
Also
Linking Words
, the development of the family depends on hard
work
Use synonyms
 and understanding. In conclusion, it is important to share a working load between parties for the development of their children and family. If husband and wife earning the same manner, teamwork is essential.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is recommended for every couple to understand each other and achieve their life objective by working together.
Submitted by sudharshanakdesilva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: