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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The world natural resources are consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the causes of this situation? What are the solutions?

#world #resources #rate #situation
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A lack of natural
resources
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 has been highlighted over the past decades.
As a result
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, questions about why the world's natural
resources
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 are being utilized at an ever-increasing rate arise.
This
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 essay will illustrate the
causes
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 of
this
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 situation and the solutions. Two primary
causes
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 associated with the high rate of natural resource consumption can be suggested. An increase in the usage of
energy
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 is one of the
causes
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.
This
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 is because, with industrialization, a majority of industrial factories and vehicles employ natural
resources
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, including coal and oil.
This
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 obviously leads companies to gain huge profits, which in turn brings about a rise in the national economy.
Furthermore
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, the reasonable price of natural
resources
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 is another cause. In fact,
energy
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 studies undertaken by experts have revealed that consuming natural
resources
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 is cheaper compared to developing alternative
resources
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.
This
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,
therefore
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, leads to the high utilization of natural
resources
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due to
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 cost efficiency. Fortunately, countermeasures to mitigate the
causes
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 mentioned above are available.
Firstly
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, education about the severity of the increase in
energy
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 usage should be carried out for corporations. In doing so, each business would reduce its use of natural
resources
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 in their factories, and industrial cars would be changed to electronic models.
Moreover
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, the authorities ought to invest a great deal of money in the development of new
resources
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.
This
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 would result in the innovation of alternative
resources
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, a decrease in development costs, and the promotion of new
resources
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. To recapitulate, the
causes
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 of the world's natural
resources
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 being utilized at an ever-increasing rate are an increase in the usage of
energy
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 and their reasonable price.
However
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, education and governmental involvement are suggested as solutions.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both causes and solutions. Ensure that each point is elaborated thoroughly and consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to ensure smoother transitions between some points for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps in maintaining the flow of information.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by identifying clear causes and suggesting plausible solutions. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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