Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are in favour of achieving business and financial management skills rather than taking a major in history. In recent years, there has been a hot debate between these two perspectives. I personally believe that both subjects have their own value to an individual's future ,

as well as

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play a vital role in the growth of today's world.

Firstly

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this

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viewpoint highlights the abilities of business intelligence to enhance management skills, which results in more success in the business world.

For instance

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, the globally famous companies

such

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as Apple, Facebook, and Twitter have highly skilled workers who are assets to these companies. The same goes for the new developing businesses, if they have newcomers with a major in

such

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subjects could contribute to establishing a powerful foundation within a few years , which in turn will pay high taxes to the government. So,

this

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side of the viewpoint has a solid basis.

On the other hand

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, many criticise historians for believing that they did not serve anything to humankind.

However

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, historians have played a significant role over time.

For example

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, in times of war, they have supported the military by providing databases and statistics on the possibilities.

Moreover

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, with the backing of their database, they have been predicting the collapse in finances, which proves the importance of history subjects in education. In conclusion, with all the arguments and examples given, I would say that it is not fair to choose one side of the education. It has ample evidence to prove that the subject has been contributing to the community so far.

kr80366

Jul 17, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it fully.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

Clearly state your opinion in the introduction.

task achievement

The introduction provides a balanced view on the topic.

task achievement

Good use of examples like Apple and historians in war.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Entrepreneurship
Economic growth
Practical skills
Employment opportunities
Consumer awareness
Global markets
Cross-cultural communication
Cultural awareness
Critical thinking
Historical perspective
Balanced approach

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