IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #animals
While some people believe that zoos play an important role in protecting wild animals, others feel that keeping animals locked up in
such
 places is cruel and unnecessary. Personally, I agree with the idea that animals should not be kept in zoos and that zoos should be shut down. On the one hand, many people feel that zoos are useful in some regards.
Firstly
, zoos can help to preserve endangered animals by keeping them safe from poachers and other threats,
such
 as habitat destruction and the spread of urbanisation. Some zoos
also
 run breeding programs in order to try and increase the numbers of some endangered
species
 to avoid them becoming extinct.
Secondly
, by keeping animals in zoos, people can learn and understand more about them and
this
 can help to raise awareness amongst the public in order to help preserve certain
species
.
However
, while the ab
ovementioned i
Suggestion
above mentioned
deas may be true to a certain extent, I believe that zoos are unnecessary for the following reasons.
To begin
 with, zoos can only hold small numbers of animals and
therefore
 cannot protect the large majority of
species
 from being hunted or their habitats from being destroyed. I believe it is the responsibility of each government to create and fund conservation programs that help to stop the destruction of the habitats of endangered
species
 so that animals can live in their natural state rather than be locked up in cages for their entire life.
Furthermore
, in many zoos, animals are being mistreated as they are often provided with insufficient food and medical care, which has so far caused many animals in zoos to die because of starvation and diseases. In conclusion, though some zoos may have some positive impacts on the conservation of some certain animal
species
, overall, I think they are cruel places and do more harm than good.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: