Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays some individuals may think it is the best approach sometimes to face unfortunate events like an unfavourable

job

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or deficit of money and make no changes.

While

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others may not agree with particular beliefs and try to improve these terrible conditions.

This

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essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own viewpoint.

Firstly

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, admitting awful circumstances is very common within some populations and they do not even try to change their life conditions. Those individuals probably faced corruption issues and that affected their perception.

For example

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, young people do not want to get a

job

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in state-owned companies, as they may face various problems

such

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as lack of money and poor workflow.

As a result

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, they do not develop or improve their skills

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apply

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but only accept the fact that conditions cannot be changed in any way.

Conversely

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, improving your state of life and finding other ways to solve the issues has its own importance.

Moreover

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, some observe that changing your

overall

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reality can provide better wellness. To illustrate, if a person does not like their

job

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or holds a low position, they can take a chance and improve their skills.

Also

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, he can try to find an alternative to his current

job

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, which can improve his position and financial condition.

To conclude

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while

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changing your circumstances might be terrifying and impossible for some people as in the case of police and healthcare, I believe that you should try your best and improve your current state since it can bring positive results

such

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as career promotion and financial stability.

6atb8kThu Feb 22 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that both views are explored evenly and comprehensively. Your essay seemed to focus slightly more on one perspective. Aim for balance to fully meet the task requirements.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Your essay would benefit from real-world instances or scenarios to make your argument more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Moving beyond basics like 'firstly' and 'conversely' can enhance the flow of your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve cohesion, work on developing your ideas more thoroughly within paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and expand on it with explanations and examples.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that all entertainment television programs should educate people about the importance of social issues. Do you agree or disagree?

To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?