IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people spent a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Is this is a good or bad thing?

#people #money #tickets #events
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s era, concerts and sporting events play a vital role in stress relief. Some experts claim that it is not good to spend a lot of
money
 on
this
 whilst a few others disagree with the opinion. I firmly believe that spending an enormous amount of
money
 on tickets will seriously affect one’s finance and family. To start with, people who over indulge in live programmes are the least bothered about the ticket prices. Their primary motive is to buy tickets at that moment, regardless of the cost. Nowadays, due to the excessive coverage that these events receive in the media, many fans are eager to be a part of them. Young people, especially teenagers, often assume that watching a live event will make them appear cool and elevate their status among their friends. Unfortunately, they do not realize that
this
 habit can jeopardize their budget. Over spending can push people into the debt trap. It could even hurt family relationships because when someone spends too much
money
 for watching
such
 events, their family will
also
 suffer.
On the other hand
, watching an event occasionally is good because it is a stress buster and being among a cheering crowd can lift up one’s mood. Leisure activities should be encouraged once in a while to overcome the tension of
this
 hectic lifestyle that we have adopted in
this
 contemporary era.
Furthermore
, it can turn into a good family outing to spend quality time with dear and near ones.
Finally
, watching a live event and rooting for one team is an opportunity for people to express their patriotism. To recapitulate, people should be careful about spending
money
 on cultural or sporting events. Once in a while it is perfectly all right to indulge in
such
 practices, but we must ensure that it does not become an obsession.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: