Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is generally believed by many people that self- playing sports are more

favored

preferred above all others and treated with partiality

favoured

However

, it would seem that

team

sports are likely to bring more advantages. Individual sports are optimal activities for those who want to strengthen their health and fitness. The most significant reason for

this

view is that sports

such

as tennis or swimming require high intensity activities that would be at an ultimate level of keeping fit and staying healthy.

Nevertheless

, one would claim that there are comprehensive benefits which are acquired through sports played in

team

Suggestion

teams

the team

a team

. Facts indicate that, not only improving

health but

Accept comma addition

health, but

also

team

working skills will be enhanced if you take part in football or basketball.

This

is mainly because

team

sports require rules and strategies to play in a group with a certain number of players. For

this

reason, participants will have to play in

Suggestion

united and highly strategic environment.

As a result

, both strength and

team

working skills will be improved thoroughly which can be useful for many aspects of life. In conclusion, while sports in all

kind

Suggestion

kinds

of playing bring you a healthy body, I would claim that playing sports with a

team

will be the better choice for

beneficial purpose

Suggestion

beneficial purposes

a beneficial purpose

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

203 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the worls life expectancy is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?