IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

There have been some problems with public transport in your area recently. Write a letter to the manager of the transport company. In your letter: Describe the problems Explain how these problems are affecting the public Suggest some changes that could be made Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. I'm writing
this
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 letter with the purpose of discussion about the statement of public transport in our neighbourhood. The paramount problem, in my humble opinion, is the hours of activity. We have suitable buses only in the morning and in the afternoon. It's a big problem on a snow day when our children have to go on foot for more than one kilometre to catch the bus to the city centre. And they have no opportunity to return home because there are no buses. All of the neighbours are very worried about our children, especially the families, who are not at home until the evening.
Moreover
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, our children have a lack of connection with their friends. We will be very grateful for solving
this
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 problem. I think that if you can launch additional buses, even one every round hour, it will be very helpful for all our community. Sincerely yours, Anastassia

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task achievement
While your letter is clear and addresses the main points, it would be beneficial to add a specific example or a personal anecdote to strengthen the impact of your argument.
coherence cohesion
It is advisable to connect the sentences more fluidly by using additional transition words. This can help in enhancing the logical flow of the text.
coherence cohesion
You should break down the main body into more distinct paragraphs to enhance readability and ensure each paragraph encapsulates a single idea.
task achievement
The letter maintains a respectful and formal tone, which is suitable for addressing the manager of a transport company.
coherence cohesion
Good use of the greeting and closing sections, which adds to the formality and appropriateness.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the problems, their impact, and offers a feasible solution, achieving a well-rounded response.
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