FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

Many countries have been spending a huge amount of money on entertainment
field
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fields
show examples
such
as arts, music, and
dramma
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drama
since post -
modern
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the modern
show examples
era. Yet, there
remains
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remain
show examples
some disagreements as to whether the
overall
output of
this
funding has been beneficial or
this
Correct word choice
whether this
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could be utilized for other areas of
developments
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development
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: health, transportation, and education.
While
there are certainly valid arguments
on the contrary
; I, personally think that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the fund can be better utilised for
Correct quantifier usage
many
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much
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many
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pressing issues of the countries. First of all, it is
indisputable
Correct article usage
an indisputable
show examples
fact that public sectors,
for example
, health, education, and transportation require urgent attention since these areas
directly
Add a missing verb
are directly
show examples
related to day to day life of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
common man. Despite the benefits of
granding
Correct your spelling
raising
funds for
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
show examples
industry- a basic advantage may be providing relaxation and soothing
effets
Correct your spelling
effects
- a
singnificant propotion
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significant proportion
of society would have deeply benefited
frrom
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from
this
. Those who live in
eonomically
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economically
deprived
condition
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conditions
show examples
,
moreover
, value something which enhances their standard of living rather than any luxury.
Additionally
, and even more importantly, investing funds
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
publc
Correct your spelling
public
infra- stractures
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infrastructures
not only
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
positives to citizens but
also
country
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the country
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as a whole.
In other words
,
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the developments
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developments
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development
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of these would facilitate to
attract
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attraction
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well- known investors
as well as
multi- national
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multi-national
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companies which eventually leads to economic empowerment of the nation.
By contrast
, if focus
given
Add a missing verb
was given
show examples
to either arts or music, that would include only a fraction of the society, it would not
accelarate
Correct your spelling
accelerate
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
total advancement.
Therefore
, I contend that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
invetments
Correct your spelling
investment
investments
have generally
positives
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positive
show examples
results. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that funding for
Correct article usage
the developments
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developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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of
Add an article
the
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public structure
have
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has
show examples
far reachable merits than supporting entertainment programs.
Submitted by Sal on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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