FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

#art #music #filim #structure

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Many countries have been spending a huge amount of money on entertainment

field

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fields

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such

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as arts, music, and

dramma

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drama

since post -

modern

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the modern

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era. Yet, there

remains

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remain

show examples

some disagreements as to whether the

overall

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output of

this

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funding has been beneficial or

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this

Correct word choice

whether this

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could be utilized for other areas of

developments

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development

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: health, transportation, and education.

While

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there are certainly valid arguments

on the contrary

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; I, personally think that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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the fund can be better utilised for

Correct quantifier usage

many

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much

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many

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pressing issues of the countries. First of all, it is

indisputable

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an indisputable

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fact that public sectors,

for example

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, health, education, and transportation require urgent attention since these areas

directly

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are directly

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related to day to day life of

Correct article usage

the

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common man. Despite the benefits of

granding

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raising

funds for

entertainment

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the entertainment

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industry- a basic advantage may be providing relaxation and soothing

effets

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effects

- a

singnificant propotion

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significant proportion

of society would have deeply benefited

frrom

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from

this

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. Those who live in

eonomically

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economically

deprived

condition

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conditions

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moreover

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, value something which enhances their standard of living rather than any luxury.

Additionally

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, and even more importantly, investing funds

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show examples

these

publc

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public

infra- stractures

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infrastructures

not only

bring

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brings

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positives to citizens but

also

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country

Add an article

the country

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as a whole.

In other words

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Correct article usage

the developments

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developments

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development

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of these would facilitate to

attract

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attraction

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well- known investors

as well as

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multi- national

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multi-national

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companies which eventually leads to economic empowerment of the nation.

By contrast

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, if focus

given

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was given

show examples

to either arts or music, that would include only a fraction of the society, it would not

accelarate

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accelerate

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

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total advancement.

Therefore

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, I contend that

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

invetments

Correct your spelling

investment

investments

have generally

positives

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positive

show examples

results. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that funding for

Correct article usage

the developments

show examples

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

Add an article

the

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public structure

have

Change the verb form

has

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far reachable merits than supporting entertainment programs.

Submitted by Sal on Fri Oct 04 2019

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

276 words

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FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.