Children should take part time job in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

There is no denying the fact that

work

Use synonyms

is an important aspect of human life, it can keep them busy and increase their sense of responsibility.

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief that children should invest their free

time

Use synonyms

in a job, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that opposes

this

Linking Words

idea.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, kids who prefer to spend their free

time

Use synonyms

working will be prepared more than the other children for their future jobs.

In other words

Linking Words

, they will have a better understanding of the concept of jobs and will interact with various personalities.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will result in enhancing their social skills by dealing with different kinds of people every day and increasing their reliance on themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, when I was a child, I used to

work

Use synonyms

at my uncle’s shop every summer vacation,

this

Linking Words

occupation helped a lot in understanding my personality.

Also

Linking Words

, I gained many characteristics

such

Linking Words

as patience, and discipline, through meeting numerous customers every day.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may have a negative impact on them by adhering themselves to

work

Use synonyms

, which will contribute to neglecting studies. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that most of their attention will be on

work

Use synonyms

, because

work

Use synonyms

has incentives

such

Linking Words

as money,

while

Linking Words

school will make them only study.

In addition

Linking Words

, the most enjoyable thing in kids’ lives is their relationship with their friends, so if they spend their

time

Use synonyms

studying and working

this

Linking Words

may cause them to lose their friendships.

For example

Linking Words

, I had a friend in elementary school, and he was one of the most outstanding students, when he decided to

work

Use synonyms

his grades went down significantly, which resulted in him being expelled from the school. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question. On balance,

however

Linking Words

, I tend to believe that children should focus on one thing, so they cannot

work

Use synonyms

and study at the same

time

Use synonyms

, if they want to

work

Use synonyms

, they can

work

Use synonyms

on vacations.

osamahazabrMon Apr 28 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The introduction presents the topic clearly and outlines the main points that will be discussed, which is good. However, you could further enhance clarity by restingate both sides more explicitly, indicating that you will express your opinion clearly in relation to the discussed points.

coherence and cohesion

While the essay is mostly coherent, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using more linking words or phrases to connect the sentences and paragraphs better, which can help to improve the flow of your ideas.

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant but could benefit from a bit more detail or explanation to maximize their impact. When reflecting on personal experiences, ensuring they are directly tied to the argument can enhance the overall effectiveness of your examples. Try to weave them in more integrally into your arguments.

task achievement

You have made a commendable effort to present both sides of the argument and supported your ideas with relevant personal experiences. This adds a unique perspective to your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main point, indicating a clear stance based on the discussions previously laid out within the essay.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
The issue of which place will be the better place for providing service has become highly controversial. Some individuals opine that specialists should only work in their own states, whereas other masses think it depends on their perspectives. I agree with the second statement, and in this essay, I will examine both views and the reasons for my bias.
6
band
Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some notion believe that it is healthier to do outdoor activities for kids, compared to indulging in indoor games. I totally agree with them and here are some reasons showing why it is crucial to motivate children to spend more of their time playing outside.
7.5
band
Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
There is an argument that athletes should only focus to their play techniques and it is not related to how they behave socially outside the field. I personally disagree with this notion, and I will elaborate more on this essay.
7
band
People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measure can be taken to fix this?
Nowadays the vast majority of people are considered unhealthy and non-active. The key problem is the food preferences that changed over the years. In order to solve the current issue government should make bioproducts more affordable in the country.
7.5
band
in today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters, and writers. what can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?
Although there has been much progress in science and technology in recent years, humans still appreciate masterpieces. The writer advocates that the art can convey individuals cultural values along with ideology that cannot be showcased via technology.

Children should take part time job in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measure can be taken to fix this?

in today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters, and writers. what can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?