IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #increases #crime #rates #believe #police #streets #combat
Some nations are grappling with the booming in criminality. There are a variety of solutions to solve
such
 puzzle, but many believe that the most efficient way is increasing the number of police officers on the street.
Although
such
 features may prove damaging in
crime
 rates with obvious reasons, I strongly believe that tackling the root causes is the optimal way to reduce the
crime
 proportion.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable the fact that increasing the number of policemen can act as a deterrent for criminals who have any purposes to commit a
crime
. Take USA in the early 90s under Kenedy presidents is an example, America at
this
 time was deemed as a haven for offenders so that one of many effective way to tackle
this
 issue of
this
 president was increasing police presences on streets that led to a reciprocal decline in
crime
 figures.
However
,
such
 above-mentioned features just work well if governments take into account of bearing with the root causes. In fact, the percentage of
crime
 is related directly to poverty and indirectly to education, you can see in many thriving countries where there are modern educational systems, helping youngsters to upgrade their academic performance.
For example
, in Japan renowned with the most logical educational systems, students in
this
 country graduated from high schools or universities were educated to gain essential knowledge and skills which aligned well with what the job markets were looking for. As the result, every resident of Japan had their own job so that they can have sufficient money to afford for a high standard life and had no incentive to commit any crimes. To sum up, while increasing the number of police officers is a valid standpoint, it is not feasible to root out
crime
.
Instead
 of employing more cops, the governments should concentrate on education and the economy that can lead to a correspondingly drop in
crime
 rates.
Submitted by ductri3009 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: