 It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

It is argued that learning about

region

Suggestion

regional

history

for

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school children

is very essential. To a certain extent I agree with

this

idea that learning about

region

Suggestion

regional

history

has importance for children.

However

, I

also

agree that they should study

world

history

, too. On the one hand, I accept that have knowledge of local

history

for children is important. Since, the local

history

makes

they

objective case of they

them

aware of the past events of their country as well as it has a significant influence on the culture formation and can even prepare them for a better future.

Therefore if

Accept comma addition

Therefore, if

children learn local

history

, they can not only earn many informative lessons, but

also

by focusing on the past successes and future challenges, they can obtain more successes that lead to improve in their country for

next generation

Suggestion

the next generation

. At the same time, I believe that there are two main reasons why learning

world

history

is significant for

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school children

. One of the reasons is that

world

history

can certainly help

Suggestion

with

better communication between different countries. Because of it is a subject that embraces various cultures, nations, societies and etc.

Therefore

, knowing the information about the

history

of the

world

can make stronger connections between them. Another reason is that

world

history

undoubtedly enhances to

development

Suggestion

the development

of children. As

world

history educates

Accept comma addition

history, educates

children about global issues and it gives them a wider view of the

world

. In conclusion, I would argue that learning

Suggestion

about

local

history

and

world

history

are equally important for

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school children

. Because both of them contribute to the development of children.

Sun Oct 06 2019

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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 It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.