IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you think that people from certain ethnic backgrounds should be given greater access to education?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Food, water and shelter are basic needs of a human. We need them to keep ourselves alive.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, there is
also
Linking Words
 a need for
education
Use synonyms
 to make sure we can survive on
this
Linking Words
 earth. People need
education
Use synonyms
 to become knowledgeable. With knowledge, we will able to work for our basic needs. As
education
Use synonyms
 is essential to
everyone
Use synonyms
, should people from certain ethnic backgrounds be given greater
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
 than the others? In my opinion,
everyone
Use synonyms
 should be given an equal chance to
access
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 as
everyone
Use synonyms
 possesses equal human rights. Discrimination should not be practiced.
Everyone
Use synonyms
 has the right to obtain
education
Use synonyms
 and there should not be an unfair distribution of
education
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, giving people from certain ethnic backgrounds greater
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
 will result in wider income gaps between ethnic groups. For ethnic groups that attain better
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
, they are more knowledgeable than ethnic groups that do not have the advantage of
access
Use synonyms
 to better quality of
education
Use synonyms
. With more knowledge, they will able to acquire better jobs with higher salaries. Their income will be greater than the others.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will portray a model country whereby, different ethnic groups are able to excel despite their differences. In conclusion,
everyone
Use synonyms
 has equal rights.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should not be discrimination of ethnic groups where only certain ethnic groups are given greater
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
. Governments should provide
education
Use synonyms
 for all their citizens
to decrease
Suggestion
decrease
 the illiteracy rate in their countries and
hence
Linking Words
 improve the living standards of their countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: