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Band 6

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lifestyles #money
Nowadays, people believed that promoting healthy
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 is more sensible than spend a great deal of money to support the medication of
overweigh
Suggestion
over weight
over weigh
 people. I totally agree with
this
 statement because it helps save national budget and improve public health. One of the main reasons is that it is the best way to save budget of a country.
First
, since a sustainable development of a nation requires to have many investments in many fields, paying for treating obesity can put more burden on financial resource.
This
 means that if citizens have a knowledge about balance diets, combined with physical activities, the government will not need to spend millions to cure these obese individuals.
For instance
, according to Vietnam Health Center, in 2018, Vietnam Government spent about 0.8% of the budget for patients with obesity problems and more fund for hospital facilities. Another reason is that healthy lifestyles help people enhance expectation of life. In order to improve the community’s longevity, healthy meals not only help people avoid corpulence but
also
 other diseases that may be fatal
for
Suggestion
to
human’s
Suggestion
human
 health. In fact, people who have good eating habit as well as consume other high
fiber
a slender and greatly elongated substance capable of being spun into yarn
fibre
 food,
such
 as fresh fruit and vegetables can regulate their calorie intake leading to reduce fat,
moreover
, these will provide vitamin which play a vital role in body's development and optimum immune system.
For instance
, consuming enough Vitamin E helps people slower their aging process or prevent cancers. In conclusion, due to the benefits it brings, like to save money for government, improve community health as well, so government should broaden citizen's awareness more than spend money in treating obesity.
Submitted by trangtran4015 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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