IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #sentences #criminals #education #skills
Law offenders commonly serve a prison
term
 as penalty for crimes committed.
However
, some individuals are of the opinion that
jail
term
 should no longer be served by law offenders, rather,
education
 and
skill
acquisition
 should serve as a penalty. I disagree to a large extent that
education
 and the
acquisition
 of skills should become the present form of punishment, rather it should be Incorporated into their daily activities as they serve
jail
 terms.
Education
 and
skill
 training should be part of the daily activities of prisoners, rather than eradicating imprisonment totally. Imprisonment rips of their rights to freedom, brings about a sense of remorse which will eventually lead to repentance over time. Addition of
education
 and
skill
 training to the daily routine of inmates keeps them physically busy,
also
 builds them up mentally.
Hence
, they can look forward to a source of livelihood once they complete their
jail
term
.
For instance
, a thief who robbed at my place of work was jailed for six months, a period in which he was remorseful and vowed never to steal again. He learnt the craft of painting, following his release, he continued in the
skill
 and has since been financially stable.
Thus
, merging prison sentence,
education
 and
skill
 training makes a criminal a better person. Meting out
education
 and
skill
acquisition
 only, as a means of punishment doesn't drive home the gravity of the offence committed, as
such
, criminals are liable to break laws repeatedly, due to freedom retained. Crime offenders are not likely to commit themselves to the process of
education
 and
skill
acquisition
.
Hence
, criminals are bound to go unpunished. As
such
, imprisonment is of the essence.
For example
, a murderer who takes a course in literature with no remorse may actually continue in the act on university grounds as he has no remorse nor has he repented. In conclusion, many individuals may be of the opinion that
education
 and
skill
 training should be a means to mete out punishment, rather than serving a
jail
term
. I disagree with the notion, as a better result is achieved from merging both prison sentences,
education
 and
skill
acquisition
.
Submitted by Dammy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!