IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that technology is essential in modern life, and one of its emerging aspects is the trend toward cashless
payments
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons why society is moving toward a cashless future and why some
individuals
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 are dissatisfied with traditional payment
methods
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.
To begin
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 with, there are several logical reasons for adopting digital wallets.
Firstly
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, technology makes our lives more efficient.
In other words
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, carrying a smartphone combines a digital device and a wallet
instead
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 of needing a traditional physical wallet.
Additionally
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, for each digital transaction, a receipt is received directly on the phone, making record-keeping easier and more organized.
For example
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, if you wish to pay 9 SR for something, you may face a situation where the other party does not have
change
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a change
show examples
, but digital
payments
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 eliminate
this
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 inconvenience.
On the other hand
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, there are
individuals
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 who are not satisfied with cash payment
methods
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. These people find traditional cash
methods
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 cumbersome and inconvenient compared to digital transactions, which are faster, safer, and easier to manage.
Moreover
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, traditional
methods
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 increase the risk of theft or loss,
while
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 digital wallets offer secure and traceable
payments
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.
For instance
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, elderly
individuals
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 or busy professionals often prefer digital
methods
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 because they can manage their finances better and avoid carrying large amounts of cash. In conclusion, society is moving toward cashless
payments
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due to
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 their efficiency, convenience, and security.
While
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 some
individuals
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 remain attached to traditional
methods
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,
it is clear that
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 digital
payments
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 offer significant advantages that make daily financial transactions smoother and safer for the majority of people.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the reasons why some individuals might resist moving away from cash. More detail could enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the overall thesis, this could improve clarity
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding the writer's points.
task achievement
Strong examples are provided to illustrate points about the advantages of cashless transactions, making your arguments more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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