IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that the government is wasting money on arts and that this money could better be spent elsewhere. To what extents do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts #extents
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Some people that the government is
unneccerly
Suggestion
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 on arts and
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on somewhere else. In My opinion,
Government
Suggestion
the Government
 is wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
.
This
Linking Words
Money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on increasing the
infrastrucure
the basic structure or features of a system or organization
infrastructure
,
such
Linking Words
 as
Conturcting
close interaction
contacting
contracting
conducting
 the roads, public transport etc... Some people think that
Government
Suggestion
the Government
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on Art, because it showcases
rich culture
Suggestion
the rich culture
 of
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
countries
.
Galary
Suggestion
Gallery
, sculptures, Music are key in any culture that need to be preserved and showcased to
Linking Words
next generation
Suggestion
the next generation
.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 world wouldn't have known about mummy, If
italy
a republic in southern Europe on the Italian Peninsula; was the core of the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire between the 4th century BC and the 5th century AD
Italy
didnt
did not
didn't
 preserve it.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
toursim
the business of providing services to tourists
tourism
 will
also
Linking Words
 be developed.
unique
radically distinctive and without equal
Unique
 piece of arts,
monements
a structure erected to commemorate persons or events
monuments
, cultures would
attact
direct toward itself or oneself by means of some psychological power or physical attributes
attract
 world tourists and
thus
Linking Words
 direct and indirect
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
 would be generated.
For Instance
Linking Words
, We all know how Paris
attacts
direct toward itself or oneself by means of some psychological power or physical attributes
attracts
 huge number of tourists with a
master piece
the most outstanding work of a creative artist or craftsman
masterpiece
 of
Monalisa
Suggestion
Mona Lisa
 Image. Some other people think that Tax Payers
money
Use synonyms
 should not be spent on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
, but rather on infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as constructing roads, developing public
trasport
move something or somebody around; usually over long distances
transport
, Providing quality education to pupils
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
, which are key aspects
for
Suggestion
of
 any country to improve the manufacturing and
over all
involving only main features
overall
 Gross domestic productivity.
Corporte
Suggestion
Corporate
 companies invest in countries which are very good at
infrastruture
the basic structure or features of a system or organization
infrastructure
, but
no
negation of a word or group of words
not
 in countries which spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
.
For instance
Linking Words
 America and China are very developed countries today,
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they have spent
money
Use synonyms
 on these key aspects. In Conclusion, Desptive of having some advantages
with
Suggestion
to
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 in
Arts
Suggestion
the Arts
,
benfits
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
 are wider if
money
Use synonyms
 is spent
in
Suggestion
on
 infrastructure.
Linking Words
Hence I
Accept comma addition
Hence, I
 completely agree with
statment
Suggestion
the statement
statement
statements
 that government is wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on arts and could be spent in other areas.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • heritage preservation
  • creative industries
  • community outreach
  • therapeutic value
  • quality of life
  • economic stimulus
  • government patronage
  • fiscal responsibility
  • public-private partnerships
  • practical necessities
  • cultural infrastructure
  • recreational activities
  • diversification of the economy
  • self-sufficiency in the arts
  • budgetary constraints
  • cultural philanthropy
What to do next:
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