IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #safety #roads #punishments #offences
Life is very precious, and many people die annually around the world
as a result
 of reckless driving. Most of the experts believe that imposing heavy penalties for unlawfully driving is the better solution, whereas others argue that there should be other methods. I believe that the
first
 argument is a better method.
However
, there should be other actions too to produce obedient drivers. Undoubtedly human errors can happen, and should not ignore. Even though it is a human error, the driver should be punished, with a warning. These warnings can accumulate in a point system and could provide negative marks. Heavy penalties will increase the stress of the drivers and ultimately lose confidence in driving.
Nevertheless
, there are many scenarios of unlawful driving. To name a few, young drivers seek thrill while over speeding, bike riders enjoy riding on a single wheel, and few people even drive while they are drunk. As long as these offences are done deliberately, there should be heavy penalties to control
this
 behaviour. These penalties can be in the form of a large sum of fines, suspending the driving
license
, and even imprisonment.
However
, all the drivers should be appropriately educated on road rules and regulations before providing a driving
license
. Not only that, there should be a probationary period to observe a new
license
, and people who will be caught with driving offences should not be allowed to get a permanent driving
license
 unless they go through a proper driving test again. In conclusion, much
strick
(used in combination) affected by something overwhelming
struck
 punishments should be imposed to improve road safety while the governments should take more precautions on educating the drivers on road rules and regulations.
Submitted by nethandun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: