Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say that it is not the governments’ responsibility.  Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People hold distinct views on whether
governments
should bear the expense of citizens’ health care and education. Personally, I believe that
governments
are supposed to stand a big part of the expenditure. On the one hand, it is sometimes argued that
governments
ought to be responsible for citizens’ medical and educational charges. As we all know, people nowadays are suffering from the excessively high cost of medical treatment.
For example
, patients who are treated in ICU are required to pay around 10,000 CNY every day, which is unaffordable for most families in China. If
governments
pay for the spending on health care, sick individuals who give up therapies for lack of money will have the likelihood of being cured.
Moreover
, children born in low-income families cannot bear the cost of education and
therefore
do not have opportunities to break their plights.
However
, with financial help from
governments
, these children will have access to education and resolve their difficulties.
On the other hand
, some people think that payment for the two items should not be included in the government’s responsibilities. In many countries, the payments for health care and schooling are considered as benefits to the full-time employees in companies. Enterprises are expected to take social responsibility by funding their personnel’s study and fitness.
For instance
, staff working at a particular multi-country enterprise can take free medical check-ups and be totally funded to attend international schools. In fact, these benefits burden the finances of companies, frustrating their development and probably impacting their survival. In conclusion, I think it is conducive for citizens if
governments
pay the majority of residents’ expenditures on schooling and medical treatment, in consideration of the financial problem and humanity.
Submitted by Tess on

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task achievement
Include a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to make your stance more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your paragraphs flow more naturally by using a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides relevant arguments for each.
task achievement
The main points are supported with specific examples, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which adds depth to the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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