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Band 7.5

more and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that raising the price of fast foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods
The
number
 of people with obesity conditions are increasing over the period. It is argued that making the
price
 of
junk
food
 higher is a good solution for
this
 case. I agree with
this
 statement, and
this
 essay will describe how the high
price
 of cigarettes can affect the consumption of
this
 item, and
secondly
, how higher prices could lower the
number
 of consumption.
To begin
 with, higher excise on cigarettes has proven to be successful at curbing the harm caused by these substances. These policies that running by many countries have made the tobacco become an expensive thing that not worth the money to be spent for.
Therefore
, many people prefer to stop or minimize the frequency of smoking habits, and the
number
 of people with respiratory problems are significantly decreased.
For example
, many developed countries
such
 as Australia have the regulation that makes the
price
 of tobacco is dramatically expensive compare with Indonesia.
Hence
, in 2017, the
number
 of people struggling with lung cancer dropped in Australia, while it is rising gradually in Indonesia.
Furthermore
, the rising of the
price
 is in line with the declining of people consuming fast
food
. People tend to buy
junk
food
 because it is cheap and simple. By increasing the
price
,
junk
food
 will soon become a luxury item and it would be consumed occasionally, and people may search for other alternatives because the
price
 that fast
food
 is not equal to the value it brings.
For example
, if the
price
 of fast
food
 is higher than fried rise and other healthier foods, people will prefer to choose the options because it more cheap and possibility has more portion than fast
food
. In conclusion,
junk
food
 prices should be increased because of the good precedent set by cigarettes and the fact that the increased cost will reduce the amount of fast
food
 consumed by the society, and the results, might be reduce the percentage of overweight issues.
Submitted by nitadwipsari on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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