IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. Which view do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisement #product #lives
In
this
 day and age, advertisement is a key part of modern business. According to some people, advertisements inform us about those new products that develop our lifestyle.
However
, I strongly agree with the idea that advertising manipulates people to consume products which are not necessary for us. Some people believe that the aim of adverts to persuade people that buying goods will make them happier.
This
 encourages us to buy those products which we do not use in our daily life.
For example
, people who work for a company to promote products, are tending to tell customers about the advantages of a product and try to convince to buy it. In that situation, the consumer decides to purchase it, but later they realize that they wasted money.
Furthermore
, showing adverts not only manipulate elder
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
also
 influence the children to take things.
Consequently
, children put pressure on parents to buy them things. Other people think that companies need to tell customers about new products,
therefore
, they can improve their lives. What is more, an advertisement firm is a creative industry that employs many people. Without it, there would be
higher unemployment
Suggestion
a higher unemployment
 in a country.
For instance
, models are involved in promoting the company's products, and
this
 field fills up many opportunities for people. As we know, many people are involved in
this
 profession. In conclusion, we now live in a consumer culture, where, it creates demand for products. In my opinion, advertising should be regulated. The government should censor false information that makes people choosing the wrong products.
Additionally
, we should be careful before buying a product.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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