Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?

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In recent years, mobile
phones
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have become an integral part of modern life, bringing both benefits and challenges.
While
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some argue that mobile
phones
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offer numerous advantages, others believe it creates significant drawbacks.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding with a balanced view. One major advantage of having a mobile phone is that it acts as the fastest means of communication, leading to improved connectivity with others.
For instance
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, the efficiency of making calls, messages and emails allows individuals to make everyday tasks more efficient. Another significant benefit is that it expands the horizons of knowledge, which contributes by providing better opportunities in different areas.
As a result
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, many people experience improvement in their
overall
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quality of life. Despite these benefits, using mobile
phones
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also
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has its drawbacks. A key issue is a detrimental impact on health, which can lead to several diseases
such
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as myopia and obesity.
For example
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, the excessive use of mobile
phones
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in daily life has resulted in negatively impacting their eye health. Another disadvantage is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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malicious applications and groups on social media force people to share their personal data to access their websites, as they may cause the loss of personal information, creating long-term problems for the users. In conclusion,
while
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mobile phone offers significant advantages
such
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as longer connectivity and enhanced knowledge, its drawbacks, including the negative impact on health and personal information, should not be ignored. To maximize benefits
while
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reducing harm, individuals and policymakers should adopt a balanced approach. Ultimately, careful management of personal data is essential to ensure sustainable progress.

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task achievement
Ensure to strictly limit and describe specific points in both the advantage and disadvantage sections.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
content
The introduction and conclusion clearly present a balanced view of the topic.
content
Relevant examples are provided to support main ideas, contributing to comprehension of arguments made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • instant messaging
  • social media
  • access to information
  • entertainment options
  • addiction
  • mental health
  • face-to-face interactions
  • distraction
  • academic performance
  • productivity
  • privacy
  • security
  • personal information
  • misuse
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