IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #dislike #changes #society #lives #change
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It is true that there are individuals who prefer things to remain the same in society and in their own personal
lives
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. There are a few explanations for
this
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 rationale.
However
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,
change
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 ought to be considered advantageous for a number of reasons.
People
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 often prefer to maintain stability in their
lives
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 and surroundings.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that they might be feeling comfortable in their current environments and they opt to not destabilize their familiar life. Another reason is that
people
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 might have long-term commitments
such
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 as mortgages or careers, which put fulfilling these commitments at risk if they were to make any changes to their
lives
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.
On the other hand
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,
change
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 can have numerous positive impacts on our
lives
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. Exploring a different environment might open the door to new opportunities
such
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 as finding a new job or learning a new hobby. One example that highlights
this
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 point is my experience of relocating to a new country, where I was privileged to learn about a new culture and make new friends.
This
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 would have not been possible if I had not taken
such
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 a life-changing decision.
Moreover
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,
change
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 teaches
people
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 to be open-minded and accept different backgrounds, which can be invaluable to an individual's personal growth. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid reasons why some
people
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 might view
change
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 as a negative thing, there are many factors that make
change
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 a rewarding risk.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and addresses the task effectively. To make your argument even stronger, provide more detailed and varied examples that support your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on expanding your introduction and conclusion. While they are present, a more comprehensive introduction would better frame your discussion and a more detailed conclusion would effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both parts of the question, exploring why people might prefer stability and why change can be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, with clear paragraphs and a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
The personal example you provided about relocating to a new country effectively illustrates one of the benefits of change.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
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