IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society . Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Celebrities’
life
 is closely monitored by millions of people all around.
However
, some argue that they should behave in a particular manner in society as they have been admired by a huge number of followers. There remains some disagreement. In my opinion, they are just like anyone else and allowed them to live as they like. On the one hand, it is an indisputable fact that, celebrities are required to demonstrate good characters and morals in public places because they have enormous influence on teenagers. Apart from
this
, younger generations can learn that they can be successful and very good person at the same time.
For instance
, a recent study that reported when young people have someone to look up to,
this
 gives them hope, motivation, and compassion to work hard to attain their dreams in their
life
. Yet, the other side of the believe is that, celebrities, who have their own personal
life
 and they need to be given freedom to live their
life
 irrespective of their popularity.
This
 means that they are just like any other human being, they may have some moral shortcomings and often make wrong choices in their
life
. Being a well known personality in the society, it does not mean they behave to please others. Another point is that these people never ask others to either follow or admire them and some of them work only for money and publicity. By way of conclusion, people have different opinion whether famous people hold moral values in front of public or not. I, again reaffirm that every person can be allowed to enjoy
life
 as they intended to, there should not be any force on them to look perfect.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: