IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #food #education #work
Excessive consumption of fatty foods leads to a lot of health problems. Some people believe that creating
awareness
 about the health consequences of junk
food
 is the solution to
this
 problem. Others,
however
, feel that other measures are required to tackle
this
 issue. In my opinion, creating
awareness
 is
important but
Accept comma addition
important, but
 that alone will not work. Most people lead a hectic life these days. They do not have the time or energy to cook proper meals.
As a result
, they subsist on fast
food
. Many of them are actually aware of the ill effects of fast
food
; yet they consume it because they prefer convenience to health.
Such
 people will not stop eating junk
foods even
Accept comma addition
foods, even
 if the
government
 launches
awareness
 campaigns against
such
 foods. There are
also
 some people who consume fast
food
 because they are ignorant of the consequences of fast
food
 consumption.
Awareness
 campaigns will work best amongst them. As we have seen, in many cases lack of
awareness
 is not the factor that encourages the consumption of fast foods.
Therefore
 other actions are
also
 required to deal with
this
 problem. People who eat fast
food
 in spite of knowing that it is unhealthy may stop eating it if the
government
 makes it
unaffordable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 by increasing taxes on it. Even
this
 measure will not deter wealthy people from consuming fast foods. Perhaps a better solution is to make healthy
food
 more affordable and accessible. The
government
 can perhaps open eateries that serve healthy
food
 at reasonable prices. In Tamil Nadu,
for example
, there are state funded canteens that serve healthy foods for a nominal price. When healthy options are available conveniently at least some people will give up fast
food
. To conclude, creating
awareness
 about the harmful effects of fast foods is certainly important but it will not solve the problem.
In addition
 to creating
awareness
, the
government
 has to take measures that make fast foods
unaffordable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 and healthy foods more accessible.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental
  • awareness campaigns
  • behavior change
  • socioeconomic factors
  • nutritional education
  • balanced diet
  • food labels
  • dietary habits
  • policy interventions
  • public health
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • obesity
  • human psychology
  • food marketing
  • nutrition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: