IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Health experts claim that walking is known to be beneficial to health. However, people are walking less on a daily basis. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage people to walk more again?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that walking is widely recognised as one of the simplest and most beneficial forms of exercise.
However
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 are now walking less in their daily lives
due to
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 changes in lifestyle and urban environments. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons for
this
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 trend and the possible solutions to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to walk more. One of the most apparent causes of reduced walking is the increasing dependence on cars and modern transport systems. To illustrate, many individuals choose private vehicles or public transport even for short distances because they are faster and more convenient.
For instance
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, urban development often prioritises roads and parking rather than pedestrian spaces, making walking less safe or attractive.
In addition
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, busy work schedules and sedentary entertainment
such
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 as television, social media, and video games reduce
people
Use synonyms
’s motivation to engage in physical activity during their free time. The main solution that should not be overlooked is that governments and communities should create environments that make walking easier and more appealing. To clarify, improving pedestrian infrastructure
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as safe sidewalks, parks, and walking
paths
Punctuation problem
paths,
show examples
 can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to walk regularly.
For example
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, public health campaigns, car-free zones, and workplace initiatives that promote active commuting can motivate citizens to incorporate walking into their daily routines. Schools and employers can
also
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 encourage walking by organising awareness programmes or providing incentives for active lifestyles. To recapitulate, it is evident that
people
Use synonyms
 are walking less mainly
due to
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 transport convenience and modern sedentary lifestyles,
while
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 improved infrastructure and health promotion programmes can help reverse
this
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 trend.
Therefore
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, it is necessary that governments and communities take active steps to make walking a more practical and attractive option for daily life.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. Add more detail and more examples to show your idea clearly.
coherence
Link ideas with clear ties. Start each paragraph with a main idea sentence.
coherence
Use simple signpost words to guide the reader: first, also, next, finally.
task achievement
Give more precise examples or facts to support each point.
task achievement
End with a short, strong conclusion that restates the main aim.
structure
Good start that sticks to the task and keeps topic clear.
content
The essay links cause and solution with clear examples.
conclusion
Conclusion sums up main point well.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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