IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

#people #illness #disease #governments #efforts #pollution #statements
In recent years, the outbreak of rare and new diseases has been preying on the minds of millions of people in the world. Some suggest that the only way to win the battle against illness and disease is to improve the environmental conditions and solve housing problems. As far as I am concerned, I am on the same wavelength with them on
this
 matter. It is no exaggeration to say that today the environmental pollution has reached its peak and its effects on human, animals and vegetation alike can be grave and irreparable. With each passing minute, hundreds of lives are claimed in the world and their reasons of death are from people’s daily activities – those related to the degradation of the environment.
For instance
, farmers today are no stranger to the practice of overdosing the farmlands with pesticides and insecticides.
Besides
, countless factories are poisoning the water with toxic refuse and environmentally unfriendly chemicals. Apparently, if efforts are made in stopping these activities, many people would be saved from unnecessary diseases.
In addition
 to
this
, I feel that in order to combat disease, housing problems should be properly addressed; especially in metropolitan areas where accommodation is scarce and people are plentiful. Homeless people who are forced to live in the gutter or in small sewage-ridden, iron sheds on the streets are carrying diseases that are highly infectious. For
this
 reason, they should be provided with sanitary places where they can live so as not to affect the lives of other people. To conclude, it is my belief that most modern plagues can be prevented if the governments are willing to take the bull by the horns, to introduce and enforce appropriate measures in handling
this
 situation. I hope that
future generation
Suggestion
the future generation
enjoy
Suggestion
enjoys
lives
Suggestion
living
 with no disease.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: