Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.

#children #lifestyle #parents #schools

In recent years, unhealthy lifestyles have become increasingly common for

children

, and

this

issue can be solved with the confluence of both parental and

school

help.

Although

there are some factors that encourage

children

to maintain a healthy

lifestyle

, I strongly believe that joint action by

parents

and

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

can greatly support a healthy

lifestyle

. These days, with the development of technology and changing habits of living, unhealthy lifestyles could be popular among

school

students.

This

trend can be tackled easily with efforts by

parents

and schools easily.First of all,

parents

play an important role in shaping the habits of every child, dedicating more time to them. Meanwhile,

parents

can encourage

children

to follow their instructions, helping them to understand what is right and wrong.

This

often leads

children

to foster their decision-making and problem-solving skills, altering their mindset in terms of living.

Such

abilities could support every child in making wise decisions and helping them adjust to a new healthy

lifestyle

. In terms of developing a healthy

lifestyle

school

can teach them important subjects,

such

as history and math, which play an integral role in discouraging

children

from adapting to a bad life. Those subjects are responsible for teaching students about historical figures and their lifestyles, urging them to imitate them in real life later on. There are some external factors that influence the development of a healthy

lifestyle

among schoolchildren. It is freedom. These days, more and more

children

are suffering from a lack of freedom in their lives.

In other words

parents

and schools are often under pressure to adjust to a

to a

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

new

lifestyle

, which is leading to bad results. As long as

children

have the independence to make personal decisions and do whatever they want, they try to live in different environments and choose the most alternative one.

Capitalize word

show examples

a result, it eases the process of

adoptation

Correct your spelling

adopting

of new

lifestyle

To conclude

although

there is one factor in shaping a healthy

lifestyle

, which is freedom, I strongly believe that parental and

school

-related actions carry greater weight.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Aug 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively by discussing the role of both parents and schools in tackling unhealthy lifestyles among children.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

7.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+