The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses

Many people think that the best way to improve

road

safety

is by giving stricter

punishment

to careless drivers. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but there are other methods that could

also

be used to improve it as imposing a stricter penalty, in my opinion, is not the only way to ensure

safety

on roads. On the one hand, it is true that having a stricter

punishment

and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would reduce traffic accidents and improve

road

safety

For example

, it is a fact that using a mobile phone while driving a car is a dangerous act.

However

, due to the light

punishment

, many people still use the phone while driving. Should the authority change the

punishment

into a heavier one,

then

people will consider twice before they use the phone while driving.

Besides

, violation of any traffic rule can lead to a severe accident and if the

punishment

is made a stern, people would likely obey them.

On the other hand

, there is another method that the government could use in improving

road

safety

besides

having a stricter

punishment

. The government could make a campaign about

safety

driving through various

media which

Accept comma addition

media, which

would show the effect of careless driving.

For instance

, the government could make a

safety

video about

road

safety

and upload it in social media since the message will be effectively spread in

this

kind of media. As more people are watching these videos, it is hoped that drivers will have a clearer view of

safety

driving. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I agree that having a stricter

punishment

would improve

road

safety

. But I

also

believe that it should

also

be supported with other ways, and one of them is by giving audio-visual shows about

safety

driving.

Submitted by sarahasani1371 on Mon Oct 21 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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