There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students
these days are pushed by society to become successful academically. It is said that vocational
subjects
,
such
as physical education and cookery, must be removed to keep the children focused on their academic goals.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement because it does not cease the pressure on the
students
. Contrary to
people
's beliefs, non-academic
subjects
at
school
are actually helpful to these young
people
with various benefits behind them.
Firstly
, it is certain that pupils have to study well in a few important
school
subjects
. Some traditional
subjects
,
such
as Math and Language studies, are the foundations for
students
to unlock a higher academic level or even a better job offering.
However
,
this
can be a daunting task for young
people
when they are expected to be good at every subject they learn at
school
.
As a result
, many might suffer from stress as they work really hard to achieve it.
Therefore
, these youths should never get their hands tied with the responsibility of studying. Non-academic
school
subjects
are made to keep
students
refreshed and healthy both physically and mentally.
For example
, during physical education class, pupils get to move their bodies and interact happily with their classmates. They can learn skills
such
as leadership and sportsmanship
while
keeping their body in shape.
In particular
,
this
type of activity will effectively support
students
' well-being in order to study better. In conclusion, vocational
subjects
support
students
in developing useful hard skills and soft skills. They would be able to build their creativity and organize their emotions thoroughly through engaging activities. With healthy minds and bodies, hopefully, young
people
would strive better academically as well.
Submitted by sigit.yuniar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve the score on task achievement, make sure to develop the main ideas fully, providing clear examples and a range of relevant, detailed support for your points. Address the prompt in depth by showing various aspects of the topic, possibly including a counter-argument to enhance the complexity of your response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay is well-organized with a clear central theme, includes a variety of linking mechanisms, and has paragraphs that seamlessly flow into each other. Make use of topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph, and conclude each body paragraph with a sentence that links to the overall argument of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: