IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

#years #crimes #people #cities #world
Nowadays, in the big cities around the world, the number of offences done by young individuals is increasing. These issues differ country by country, and there are several reasons behind
this
 soaring issue, but the main reasons are lack of employment among graduates and racial discrimination. To mitigate
this
, the
government
 needs to provide jobs to the youngsters and aware societies about diversity. One of the reasons behind
crime
 committed by the youth is the lack of availability of desired jobs. Nowadays, individuals prefer to study at the university level, but after completion of their studies, they are not getting the desired work as per their qualification and skills, which ultimately involve young individuals into
crime
.
For example
, in India, the large proportion of students did engineering, but they failed to receive a
job
 proposal, and they are unemployed due to that to meet their daily needs, they get involved in criminal activities. To eliminate
this
 concern, the
government
 needs to provide more pathways to young citizens so that they can follow the right direction. Another reason behind increasing
crime
 among youth is racial discrimination in multicultural nations. The
job
 availability is higher in developed countries, but the locals prefer to offer jobs to the native residents, which make it difficult for migrants to find employment and they indulge in
crime
.
For instance
, in Australia, the unemployment rate is high among refugee communities, especially among African societies, they are not getting a
job
 because of their skin colour and to fulfil their requirements they commit a
crime
. To tackle
this
 problem, the
government
 needs to aware native communities about the other race and culture, so that they can give a chance to migrate people to work with them. In conclusion, criminal activities are increasing due to unemployment among youngsters, but
this
 can be changed with the support of the
government
 by providing
job
 opportunities for youth.
Submitted by humairashehla09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: