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Band 6.5

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Answer Many people are of the belief that the authority is to be held accountable as regards the overweight health status of young adults, others are of the view that their parents are to blame. In my opinion, both parties should work in harmony to manage the challenge of obesity in children. Modalities should be put in place by the government to check and control the predisposing factors of weight increment in children.
Hence
, the school meal service team should be made to evaluate the caloric level of the meal served to children at lunch in school and
also
 the meal should be composed of all the classes of food nutrient in their appropriate proportion.
This
 could place a vital role in controlling the rise in obesity.
Also
 the inclusion of aerobic activities in the school curriculum would go a long way to manage the weight increment crisis as young adults will have a chance to burn calorie stored up in their body. To exemplify, a Teacher in Nigeria, uploaded a news on her Facebook page that due to the intervention of the authorities in her country, the challenge of overweight in children has been accurately managed.
On the other hand
, parents should be actively involved in the life of their children. Some research in the past revealed that obesity is linked to depression.
However
, parent should bear the responsibility of ensuring that their young ones are psychologically healthy. They should be on the alert to identify any form of exposure to negative event that will influence their child healthy state of mind because it could result in an unhealthy lifestyle. To give an instance, a friend whom her child was regularly bullied in their neighbourhood reported that he became withdrawn and he found solace in an unhealthy eating habit that lead him to be overweight. Conclusively, the cooperation of both the government and parents in resolving the increase in overweight in young adults would yield a better result as both parties have their specific roles to play.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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