some people say that young people are much more influenced by their friend than their parents or teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #friend #parents #teachers

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A group of individuals presents the view that youngsters are affected by their

friends

Use synonyms

much more compared with their families and supervisors. To me,

this

Linking Words

perspective seems unreasonable, especially when considering both the amount of time we spend with our parents and

teachers

Use synonyms

and scientific reasons. It is my view that since parents and

teachers

Use synonyms

spend more time with teenagers, children are very likely to be affected by their behaviour and manners.

For example

Linking Words

, I can vividly remember that when my late grandfather decided to donate a sizeable amount of money to a charity, his decision had a long-lasting influence on me because we used to get along very well and he was my role model.

Conversely

Linking Words

, a friend of mine who was a really thrifty person, being reluctant to help those in need, failed to change my mind about being generous.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, our

teachers

Use synonyms

teach us not only the importance of moral values but

also

Linking Words

the significance of being productive;

therefore

Linking Words

, their influence on our lives is definitely permanent, even if we find it difficult to realize it.

In contrast

Linking Words

, another group of people claims that, as opposed to children and their parents, there is

not an

Rephrase

show examples

age gap between teenagers and their

friends

Use synonyms

, acting as a driving force to mimic their peers

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

they admire.

However

Linking Words

, I do not find

this

Linking Words

argument as convincing as it appears to overlook both the genetic science and the reality that we usually take after those who are there for us.

Firstly

Linking Words

According to

Linking Words

a recent study,

although

Linking Words

friends

Use synonyms

can have a subtle effect on our behaviour, it is temporary. It is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genetics that make a difference.

Friends

Use synonyms

come and go, but as it says blood is thicker than water.

Secondly

Linking Words

, usually, when something bad comes up, our

friends

Use synonyms

cannot support us as much as our

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

; they do not have enough knowledge and resources.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I completely disagree with the presented view because we usually have more quality time with our family and

teachers

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

friends

Use synonyms

usually fail to support us or teach us valuable life lessons

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with family and

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on Wed Jan 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. While your introduction mentions a perspective you find 'unreasonable,' it could directly state your agreement or disagreement with the statement.

task achievement

Work on constructing well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea with examples that are directly relevant and developed with more detail.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to structure your essay. While you show proficiency in this, there's room to enhance the logical flow and improve the connection between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Mind occasional lapses in grammar or vocabulary choices that could potentially impede comprehension. Be sure to review and refine your usage for accuracy and range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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some people say that young people are much more influenced by their friend than their parents or teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assignments over the school year. What do you think of this trend?

You recently took a trip. In your absence, a friend did you a big favour. Write a letter thanking them. In your letter, include: ● what the favour was ● how this favour helped you ● an offer of compensation

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?