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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is more important to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness rather than spending it on the treatment of people who are already ill. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people
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Public funds should be spent and encouraged to influence good standard of living so as to avoid sickness as opposed making provisions for those who are ill. In my opinion, I consider that public expenditure allocated to foster healthy living to curb illness has more drawbacks when taken into account. It benefits
such
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 as a reduction in the cost of research and development and increased productivity cannot be overlooked. One major benefit of investing public expenses to administer for a better lifestyle and reduce sickness is a reduction in the cost of research and development.
In other words
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, when public funds are pulled to sensitize the economy on ways to stay healthy and live a better life,
this
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 will result to a low rate of sickness in the society and
thus
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, there would not be a need to invest much on the causes and solutions of any type of disease.
In addition
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, the productivity of the populace will be at a high peak.
This
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 is due to the fact that, the numbers of people with illness will be significantly lower, because of the practises of living a healthier life.
For example
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, in Indonesia the most common class of food consumed by the citizens are vegetables and whole grain foods.
This
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 has led to the increase in the life span of the country compared to other nations.
On the other hand
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, government's expenditure focused only to keep people active and ignoring the sick will amount to a greater issue which I agree.
In other words
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, lack of concentration and concern of the people who are not physically fit can lead to more complicated issues.
For example
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, the Ebola outbreak witnessed by Nigerians in 2017 would have been an epidemic issue, if the full focus and attention of the government was not directed to the affected individuals.
Furthermore
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, a growing amount of unfit people left unattended will affect the development and growth rate of a country.
Additionally
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, lesser individuals will be available to carry on with their daily tasks and activity, which will indirectly affect the output rate and revenue of
such
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 nation. To conclude, while spending public resources to increase healthy living to result in the reduction of ailments is beneficial, epidemic outbreak and low productivity output are major demerits of ignoring the sick.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
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