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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many working people get little or no exercise during the workday or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #workday #time #health
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In prevailing scenario, the way of working has transformed tremendously owing to which people are becoming unhealthy. Some valid causes and few remedial measures of
this
 ongoing trend will be
illucidiated
make clear and (more) comprehensible
elucidated
 in
upcoming paragraphs
Suggestion
the upcoming paragraphs
. To embark with, there are some tangible causes of
this
 negative ongoing phenomenon. The most pertinent one is
busy schedule
Suggestion
a busy schedule
 of workers
.
Accept space
.
 In almost every working firm
,
Accept space
,
 works are target oriented and to accomplish
this
 staff has to spend their time in jobs without paying heed towards their
health
,
Accept space
,
 which adversely affects them.
Furthermore
, people in today's era are becoming the materialistic and have become a great part of
this
race
Suggestion
race, therefore,
therefore
, they wholly starts to saturate their mind with worldly possessions without caring their true wealth
that is
health
Suggestion
healthy
. To illustrate, mostly Human Resource's are always allured with bonuses
,
Accept space
,
 incentives
etcetera
. There
are
Suggestion
is
 a deluge of ways to make workers careful about their
health
. The tangible solution is employers should offer flexible working schedule. There must be proper timing
for
Suggestion
of
 their work so that they can draw a line between their personal and professional world
.
Accept space
.
 What is more, an individual should even prioritise his
health
 rather than money, name and fame
.
Accept space
.
 In order to
this
,
Accept space
,
 he must spare and devote some quality time towards his family and perform some exercise to become physically and mentally fit which would definitely fosters their productivity rate. To conclude, it is indeed reasonable to state that working scenarios has been
changed but
Accept comma addition
changed, but
 an integrated endeavours of employees and employers would hopefully reverse
this
 issue and facilitate them to be fit and healthy.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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