IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, the idea of using other renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
power
Use synonyms
 has been gaining ground recently.
While
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 proponents hold the view that
this
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 trend has a plethora of merits for the environment, other opponents have a diverse perspective. I am of the belief that utilizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clean
sources
Use synonyms
 of energy is the panacea for many environmental and
health
Use synonyms
 issues. To embark on, despite the fact that a myriad of countries depend on
petrol
Use synonyms
 as a prime source of energy, others insist on finding alternative clean
sources
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 to alleviate the effects of global warming.
In other words
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,
when
Rephrase
apply
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using these renewable
sources
Use synonyms
,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help
in mitigating
Wrong verb form
mitigate
show examples
 the detrimental impacts of
petrol
Use synonyms
 on the temperature of the earth. A prime example of
this
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 is a documentary broadcast on the BBC revealed that a number of nations strive to reduce their dependence on these harmful
sources
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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, what can be said is that without utilizing tidal
power
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 and solar
power
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, numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens would suffer in the long run.
Furthermore
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, fossil fuel has a catastrophic impact on people's well-being, and it could lead to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 spread of many malignant diseases. To explain, if a country uses
petrol
Use synonyms
 heavily,
this
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 would worsen their citizens'
health
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.
For instance
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, in Egypt,
petrol
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 is the only source of
power
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, and
this
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 has resulted in many dangerous
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 among Egyptians.
Thus
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, not only could fossil fuel lead to an environmental catastrophe, but it could
also
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 exacerbate the
health
Use synonyms
 situation. In conclusion,
after
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this
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 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that even though many states use non-renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of energy,
this
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 phenomenon may have a plethora of
health
Use synonyms
 and environmental problems. I am convinced that the
W.H.O
Correct your spelling
W.H.O.
 ought to impose
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
 to obligate nations to utilize less harmful resources.

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Content
Great job! You fully responded to the task, your ideas were clear and easy to follow, and your examples were specific. Be careful with the use of idiomatic expressions and complex linguistics — only use them when they enhance your argument, and be mindful of their precision.
Grammar
Please review and correct minor spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'lows' should be 'laws'. Also, ensure you proof-read your work to catch these minor errors.
Argument
Be careful with the use of the phrase 'detrimental impacts of petrol on the temperature of the earth.' Such phrasing points out that petrol directly affects earth's temperature. However, it's the greenhouse gases resulting from burning fossil fuels (including petrol) that can contribute to the warming effect. So precision in argument is key.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • wind, solar, and hydroelectric power
  • sustainable solution
  • finite resources
  • inexhaustible
  • economic growth
  • renewable energy infrastructure
  • health benefits
  • respiratory diseases
  • energy independence
  • energy security
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