IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

#countries #children #rules #behavior
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely argued that the younger generations should behave according to the law, while others believe that they should be permitted to do anything that they wish.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the two main reasons why they should follow the rules in the society. To start with, children should follow the regulation in order to be a good member in the community.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the fact that they need the practise and to train themselves to understand the law as they grow up. According to 'The Economist', almost 90% of illegal juvenile activities generally occur from the bad environment
from
Suggestion
for
 the parents that never punish and force them to behave
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the offsprings need to have strict regulations
to grow
Suggestion
grow
 up to be a good person in the society.
Additionally
Linking Words
, providing strict rules
allow
Suggestion
allows
 the children to respect others.
For instance
Linking Words
, when comparing between the European and Asian children' activities, often the Asian offsprings have better behaviours towards others and the elders compared to the European.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the strict laws from their parents and school that allow them to understand their action towards other people.
Hence
Linking Words
, giving rules to the younger generation will allow them to respect other people and understand their behaviours in the society. To conclude, based on the essay above, the offsprings should indeed have strict laws of behaviours.
This
Linking Words
 is because they need to be trained in order to be a good member of the community when they grow up, and to have respect towards others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: