IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons of this problem and how can it be solved?

#movement #people #areas #cities #places
In these recent years, the affair of shifting people from rural to urban area tends to be one of the most ordinary shortcomings for the all walks of inhabitants. I personally believe that a significant number of reasons appear to be responsible for
this
 drawback.
However
, I am going to outline some workable initiatives so as to overcome
this
 particular problem prior to giving a reasoned conclusion. In fact, a wide range of reasons seem to be found to take place
this
 shortcoming. The
first
 and foremost reason is that rural people are less likely to have lower income. To give an example, as agricultural areas do not have employment and business opportunities, most of the time people tend to be unemployed. Another most striking point is that village people want to lead standard life. To cite an example, though rural people are poor, they want to lead standard life like urban people because of that people are moving towards cities.
Last
 but not least, most of the time agricultural areas people do not get proper communication, health, education facilities
as a result
 people bound to come big cities.
However
, so as to get rid of
this
 problem, a couple of effective steps ought to be taken into account properly.
To begin
 with, government should create employment and business sector.
For instance
, poultry and fish farm development projects have to be implemented so as to develop rural region. Another worth mentioning solution could be that creating a huge numeral of hospitals, roads and educational institutions.
For example
, if government developed those institutions in rural side, people do not need to come urban side.
Moreover
, people have to educate that moving developed regions is not a good idea in terms of surviving. To sum up,
although
this
 drawback seems to consist of numerous of reasons, it appears to be possible in order to overcome, if the above steps are maintained and applied in an efficient way.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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