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Writing Samples
Band 5

After graduating from high school , some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

#school #people #right #university
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part
Suggestion
Part
 of the youth in the
society choosing
Accept comma addition
society, choosing
to begin
Linking Words
 working right after
thier
of them or themselves
their
Thor
there
highschool
Suggestion
high school
 graduation as a substitute for university higher education. It is partly due to the financial
crisis which
Accept comma addition
crisis, which
 faced by the people today.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will argue on both merits and demerits of
above statement
Suggestion
the above statement
. There is a plethora of advantages in both views. Getting to the university education just after graduation will set up an
addtional
further or added
additional
 qualification
to
Suggestion
for
 an individual. To
iluustrate
clarify by giving an example of
illustrate
 the above fact
,
Accept space
,
 If
some one
a human being
someone
 is with a
bacholors
Suggestion
bachelor's
bachelors
bachelors'
 degree they will be able to get a demanding job with a high salary in the job market.
which
Suggestion
Which
 can result in
,
Accept space
,
 professional competency and skill.
Linking Words
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, working after
highschool
Suggestion
high school
 can be beneficial in many ways.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example, since being an early budding
entrapreneur
someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
 in the industrial
feild
a piece of land cleared of trees and usually enclosed
field
 gives more
oppotunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
. Because the
competetion
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
computation
competitions
 between the society is getting tougher day by day.
More over
in addition
Moreover
, if an individual is earning
in
Suggestion
at
such
Linking Words
age he
Accept comma addition
age, he
 or she will be
more financial
Suggestion
more financially
 stable than others.
which
Suggestion
Which
 leads them to pay
thier
of them or themselves
their
 own expenditures.
contarily
Suggestion
Contrarily
Contarily
, there are plenty of
draw backs
the quality of being a hindrance
drawbacks
 as well.
Heavy workload
Suggestion
The heavy workload
 in the universities can be
resulting
Suggestion
result
 a
stressfull
extremely irritating to the nerves
stressful
 life.
working
Suggestion
Working
fulltime
Suggestion
full time
can be cause
Suggestion
can cause
can be caused
 various damages to the health.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example, depression.
More over they
Accept comma addition
Moreover, they
Moreover they
 do not get a chance to interact with the society which can be lead to interrupt the social interactions.
repucussions
Suggestion
The repercussions
Repercussions
Replications
Reputations
Repucussions
 of these can be mental health issues. In conclusion, there are
multitude
Suggestion
a multitude
 of merits and demerits about starting a job or higher education after graduation it is up to the person's desire whether to choose studies or work.
Submitted by nethme_2007 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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