Nowadays celebrities are mainly famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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Nowadays, some of the most famous people in the world are mainly known for their material possessions and image and they can have a negative influence on young people. While I admit that many famous people are popular only for their riches and looks, I do not agree with the argument that all celebrities are bad role models for the society as some of them they can be extremely inspirational for teenagers because of their hard work and lifestyle. On the one hand, there are many artists who are famous only for being rich and attractive and their behaviour often has an adverse influence on teenagers. They send out the message that in order to be famous, you only have to be rich and beautiful. There are

also

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some who

do not mind

Suggestion

does not mind

engaging in acts that are typically considered disgraceful only to grab eyeballs. A typical example of

this

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is Paris

Hilton who

Accept comma addition

Hilton, who

is famous for being a rich celebrity. She often posts glamorous photos and videos of her wearing designer costumes. She is

also

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often spotted drinking and smoking.

This

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glamorous and lusty lifestyle can often influence teenagers in a negative way. They only see the superficial side of fame and do not understand or appreciate the efforts that go into making one successful.

On the other hand

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, there are some celebrities who can be a positive role model for young adults.

For instance

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, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the highest-paid football players in the world because of his determination, talent, and hard work. In fact, he is constantly training and working in order to build his stamina and endurance, aiming to give his best on the field.

Therefore

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, he is extremely inspirational for children and young adults as Cristiano shows that it is essential to fight for our dreams by being a

hardworking

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hard working

and

perseverant

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person.

Thus

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, some celebrities can be great role models for today’s society as they teach people pertinent lessons. To sum up, young individuals can be negatively influenced by celebrities who only flaunt their riches and lust.

However

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, in my opinion, there are

also

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some celebrities who can teach us valuable life lessons by virtue of their accomplishments in life.

Submitted by adds.dharmapuri on Thu Oct 31 2019

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are mainly famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Currently, most students are studying only mathematics and the world language, English. What do you think its advantages more than its disadvantages?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?