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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Every government has a duty to provide free health care for its people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of government providing free healthcare?

#government #duty #health #care #people #healthcare
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The provision of free healthcare
services
 is one of the utmost prioritized government missions to satisfy the needs of
people
. Whilst government-supported medical
services
 benefit
people
 from all backgrounds, hospitals could get overwhelmed by the massive amount of
people
 in need.
To begin
 with, private
health
 clinics make it harder for ordinary
people
 to get a professional view of their
health
 unless there is a huge bank account to sponsor. Constitutionally, some countries are obligated to ensure a free-of-charge healthcare system for every individual who lives under these laws. The biggest plus here is that the life expectancy of
people
 will experience a dramatic increase owing to improved medical
services
 and great accessibility by everyone.
For instance
, Japanese, Germans, and Canadians do not have to stress about their medical bills and the life expectancy is over the roof
due to
 the free
services
 guaranteed by the governments. On the flip side, making
health
 care totally free may create additional unforeseen challenges in
this
 context. As a salient drawback, there will be queues forming at the doorsteps of clinics, meanwhile,
people
 might have to wait for weeks and even a couple of months to get proper treatment, diminishing the chance of getting an individual check-up by a doctor, resulting in dissatisfaction.
Furthermore
,
such
 a huge demand will hinder healthcare workers from performing quality operations, prioritizing quantity over quality. To illustrate, in social countries especially Canada,
people
 have to book an appointment a week weeks prior to the date of the medical examination. In conclusion, free
health
 care is akin to a double-edged sword;
while
 it can bring discomfort to
people
 who are well-off, economically disadvantaged individuals will benefit the most.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical sequence of information throughout your essay. The structure could benefit from clearer transitions and topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
It is imperative to have both an introduction and a conclusion. Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is good, but make sure they are both fully developed to frame your essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific details or examples. While you provided examples, they could be more detailed and directly tied to your argument to strengthen each point you make.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed and that your response is complete. While your essay touches on the advantages and disadvantages of free healthcare, consider expanding on each point to provide a more comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and be easily understood. Overall, your ideas are clear, but strive for greater clarity in expressing the nuances and complexities of the topic.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Your examples are relevant but could be further elaborated upon to enhance the persuasive force of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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