IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas.What are the effect of this and What can be done to solve this problem.

A significant disparity has been observed in the allocation of funds for a public
transport
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system
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 in rural settings as compared to urban centres.
This
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 leads to social isolation of
people
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 living in rural
areas
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 and limited access to health and education facilities. Metropolitan cities serve as cultural and economic hubs for the majority of
people
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. These centres are population-dense
areas
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, which require an efficient and structured transportation
system
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 for all
people
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 commuting.
This
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system
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 usually consists of buses, trams and metro, which can accommodate a large number of
people
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 without overcrowding the roads.
Moreover
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, these cities need to be interconnected for business, trade and travel.
Therefore
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, a substantial portion of the budget is necessary for the development of superior highways and weather-resistant roads. An excellent example of a good investment in public
transport
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 is the Delhi Metro, which is a fast and comfortable form of travel.
However
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, spending most of the budget on transportation for
urbanisation
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the urbanisation
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 of cities can sometimes overlook
such
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 developments in the countryside. Rural
areas
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 are the backbone of the country, serving as agricultural centres which feed the nation and need a functional
transport
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system
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 for economic boom and prosperity. They usually comprise
of
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apply
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an ageing population. A poor
transport
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system
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 in rural
areas
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 can leave these
people
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 isolated and distant from their relatives and friends.
Furthermore
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, access to good hospitals and schools can be limited in villages, which can impact the health and education of the resident population. A solution to tackle
this
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 issue would be a thorough assessment of
areas
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 that require better connectivity and harbour a greater number of
people
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.
Following
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this
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, suitable planning and allocation of finances should be done to ensure
people
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's comfort, better connectivity and economic development.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more examples or evidence to support your main points. This will make your ideas clearer and stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This helps connect your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the problem and its importance.
task achievement
You provided a good example of Delhi Metro, showing effective public transport.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disparity
  • transport infrastructure
  • economic inequality
  • social isolation
  • urban overcrowding
  • environmentally friendly
  • accessibility
  • connectivity
  • public transport
  • subsidies
  • rural development
  • investment
  • infrastructure development
  • community engagement
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