It seems that many companies today are becoming much more concerned with profit than with the happiness of workers. How could companies take better care of their workers in the future? Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It seems to be the case that in many countries,
companies
are concentrating on profits and are neglecting the welfare of their staff. A range of examples will be presented to support
this
position and some possible improvements offered.
This
will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Globalized world trade is controlled by simple economic realities-making the biggest profits at the smallest expense. How is
this
being achieved? During the
last
twenty years, many manufacturing
companies
in the USA and Europe have moved their factories to economies like China, Mexico, and Thailand which have lower labour costs. Service industries in wealthier countries have been able to use
low-interest
Correct your spelling
low interest
show examples
rates, weaker trade unions, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rising unemployment rates to keep wages and conditions from improving rapidly. In education, there are other examples of
business style
Add a hyphen
business-style
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factories and worsening conditions for staff. Many universities employ more academic staff on short contracts, releasing themselves from making expensive pension provisions or offering other long-term benefits. Workers are forced to re-apply for their own jobs every few years. A sense of loyalty is not promoted by
such
processes.
To change
Change the verb form
Changing
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the situation requires a major shift in attitudes. It is difficult to see how
this
might be achieved, as the governments embrace more and more the laissez-faire approach of global economies. The only possible source of change must come from the
companies
themselves. They need to see their employees as members of a family not as costly units of labour. They should collaborate with worker’s groups to build a good level of pension protection and health care. A worker who trusts that his employer trying to protect his interests is a better worker.
A
Correct the article-noun agreement
Companies
show examples
companies
still need loyalty and continuity. In conclusion, without major changes in management philosophy, the future looks like becoming tougher and more stressful for many workers, especially those from the next generation, whose hopes need to be nurtured, not dashed.
Submitted by nijamuddin2009 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples on how companies can collaborate with workers' groups for better pension and healthcare benefits, to enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the problem and indicates that examples and solutions will follow.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the current issues and suggesting ways to improve worker treatment.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for change.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employee wellness programs
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • work-life balance
  • professional development
  • training sessions
  • mentorship programs
  • feedback culture
  • competitive salaries
  • comprehensive health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • paid time off
  • positive workplace culture
  • team-building activities
  • diversity and inclusion
  • job satisfaction
  • financial security
  • mental health days
  • stress management workshops
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