IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after 60, it causes problems. Do you agree or disagree? opinion.

#people #work
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It is irrefutable to say that permitting people to work even after retirement age may create some issues for organization
However
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, some people firmly believe that it is always beneficial to have a senior employer in their staff but I strongly believe that it should not be the case. The following paragraph would shed light on my personal perspective along with an apt example. On the one hand, elder employees have tons of experience. They are in
this
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 field for ages and they are capable of giving valuable inputs which help to tackle complicated issues in a short period of time. Beside
this
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, they are the best teacher.
Thus
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, they not only have academic know-how, but commercial experience too.
Subsequently
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, they can contribute toward progression and betterment of the organization. To illustrate, a recent survey in India stated that, 90% senior employee are more loyal and committed towards company as compared to the younger generation working in the same firm.
On the other hand
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, technology is the new phenomenon and changing the way business around the globe. The golden generation is reluctant to adopt the changes and technologies.
Furthermore
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, it is quite expensive to retain personnel who are at the top of the hierarchy ladder as most of these posts are occupied by older one as compared to hiring new campus pass-out.
For example
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, in Reliance Industries, salary of VP is almost three times as compared to management trainee.
Last
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 but not least, age will affect the quality of work. With age human memory get weak and due to some stress related problems they start to forget everything and
thus
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 eventually could not concentrate on work. To recapitulate, older people should be respected and we should gain knowledge from their experiences, but I firmly believe that seniors should vacant post for the youth and should be given more opportunities. It will be more beneficial for society as well as for the nation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
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