Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
jet set age
,
Accept space
,
some masses reckon that the retirement age for everybody regarding any profession is not an ideal for them because
the
people in general
they
should be given pensions in their early years.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
,
Accept space
,
however
;
Accept space
;
fundamentally agree with
this
viewpoint and
this
essay will highlight some possible arguments in
this
favour.
To begin
with, people are settled in their different fields.Some individuals do better than others and give superior performance.
thus
Suggestion
Thus
,
Accept space
,
as a present
,
Accept space
,
they ought to be provided pension in their earlier years because it would pay rich dividends not only to them but
also
to their family
finance
Suggestion
financially
.
For instance
, in Japan,
government
Suggestion
the government
give
Suggestion
gives
promotion as well as pensions to workers who devote well performance in their field.
Consequently
, other employees obtain
appreciation
Suggestion
an appreciation
from
this
and try to do their best.
Moreover
, in
this
contemporary era, people are becoming workaholic and they spend their most of time while doing jobs
.
Accept space
.
They do not care about their health and
as a result
, they became elder before their specific old age. It is not a good omen for
whole society
Suggestion
the whole society
a whole society
whole societies
.
Accept space
.
Apart from
this
, pollution rate is increasing at a perpetual rate and they are more
proned
having a tendency (to); often used in combination
prone
to health hassles.
Therefore
, authorities need to provide them financial help before they reach to their edge of extinction so that folks can enjoy their life properly. To conclude,
although
, nowadays individuals receive pensions in their particular ages
,
Accept space
,
these
denotes a person or thing
this
helps should be provided to them in their early years due to multifarious benefits.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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