These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is an increasing amount of

violence

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broadcasted on television

nowadays which

Accept comma addition

nowadays, which

is having a negative effect on children's attitude. As children are very good

learners they

Suggestion

learners, they

adapt what they see immediately,

hence

Linking Words

when they watch destruction and

violence

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on the screens they learn from it which reflects in their

behaviour

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Therefore

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, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement that watching

violence

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has a bad impact on children's

behaviour

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. There is a school of thought which argues that the content shown on

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has minimal effects on children's attitude, the environment of the house has the biggest impact on them.

For example

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, if they see parents and other siblings fighting and arguing they will learn from it and

hence

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results in negative

behaviour

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Furthermore

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, home is the place where children learn basic manners, when they are taught to behave well they will never adopt from anything negative they see

hence

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there won't be any change in their

behaviour

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regardless of the increasing amount of

violence

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shown on

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On the contrary

Linking Words

, in recent times

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is the biggest source of learning in children. When the content telecasted on the

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is violent children are definitely affected by it.

For example

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, a study was conducted in a school in Karachi which showed that 90% children who indulge in bullying and fighting learnt it from

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shows.

In addition

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, kids are now extremely short-tempered and abusive, they want to be less answerable to their parents which is due to the content they see.

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shows and cartoons show fight scenes, destruction and

violence

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which

is seen

Suggestion

are seen

by vulnerable minds of kids and is depicted in their

behaviour

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. In conclusion, negative change in children's attitude is due to the increasing amount of

violence

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shown on television. I strongly agree with

this

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as the screen time of children is more

hence

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their

behaviour

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reflects what they see on

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. The screen time should be decreased so that

this

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changing

behaviour

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has positive effects.

mic.jan.thomasTue Nov 05 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
mimicking
aggressive
idolize
fear or anxiety
social interactions
mental health
proactive
supervision
content

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a lot of people enjoy watching TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

In many coutries students take break of a year before entering into universities. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?