These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

There is an increasing amount of

violence

broadcasted on television

nowadays which

Accept comma addition

nowadays, which

is having a negative effect on children's attitude. As children are very good

learners they

Suggestion

learners, they

adapt what they see immediately,

hence

when they watch destruction and

violence

on the screens they learn from it which reflects in their

behaviour

Therefore

, I completely agree with

this

statement that watching

violence

has a bad impact on children's

behaviour

. There is a school of thought which argues that the content shown on

has minimal effects on children's attitude, the environment of the house has the biggest impact on them.

For example

, if they see parents and other siblings fighting and arguing they will learn from it and

hence

results in negative

behaviour

Furthermore

, home is the place where children learn basic manners, when they are taught to behave well they will never adopt from anything negative they see

hence

there won't be any change in their

behaviour

regardless of the increasing amount of

violence

shown on

On the contrary

, in recent times

is the biggest source of learning in children. When the content telecasted on the

is violent children are definitely affected by it.

For example

, a study was conducted in a school in Karachi which showed that 90% children who indulge in bullying and fighting learnt it from

shows.

In addition

, kids are now extremely short-tempered and abusive, they want to be less answerable to their parents which is due to the content they see.

shows and cartoons show fight scenes, destruction and

violence

which

is seen

Suggestion

are seen

by vulnerable minds of kids and is depicted in their

behaviour

. In conclusion, negative change in children's attitude is due to the increasing amount of

violence

shown on television. I strongly agree with

this

as the screen time of children is more

hence

their

behaviour

reflects what they see on

. The screen time should be decreased so that

this

changing

behaviour

has positive effects.

Submitted by mic.jan.thomas on Tue Nov 05 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You recently recived a letter from a friends asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Writing a letter to this friend. Hn your letter . say why he/sshe would not enjoy going to college . explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her . suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her
Thank you for sending me a letter about your future decision. As one of your friend, I am glad to give you some advices with my expriences. We have been a best friend over fifteen years therefore I know you better than others. As my opinion, going to a college is not a wise choice in our age besides we have left school life decades, even in your favorite subject. Staying in class with concentration is not a easy thing after we multitasked on work. However, getting a job is easier than going to a college, therefore, I have couple ideas of job that suits your character. Your kindness always letting you have passions to helping people moreover your organization is better than others. Therefore, working in hospitalities use your passions to helping people even try harder to be a manager will be a better choice for you. Hope you find your owned place.
5.5
band
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting description of the correlation of the table that follow. Write at least 150 words.
The graph illustrates data regarding alcohol-induced mortality, reported within seven countries in the year 2005 and the per person beer utilization (in litres)of the same countries in 2002.
4.5
band
Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?
Money plays an important role in our daily life. How manage this income is depending upon yourself.
5.5
band
It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As people’s attention to disease has increased, whether to provide help to healthy people or patients has become a debatable issue in modern society. Although support for patients can be needed due to the difficulties in both cures for diseases and monetary issues, I firmly believe that contributing more finance to healthy people is further meaningful as a solution to reduce chronic disease rates, and as a proactive measure to prevent potential disease generation.
6
band
The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people? How can this problem be solved?
Obesity is a definition of fat accumulation a risk to live. So many people have health issues regarding being overweight. There are a lot of reasons for this problem such as lifestyle and so on. Overweight solutions can be easy and difficult at the same time. In this essay, the reasons for the growth of overweight and solutions will be explained.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting description of the correlation of the table that follow. Write at least 150 words.

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people? How can this problem be solved?