IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents think children should have mobile phones, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones
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In
this
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 technical world, the profound influence of technology on human
life
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.
Therefore
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, millions of families are vocalise that offspring should have cell phones. Counterparts, against
this
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 notion. Prior to my view my, I will delineate both aspects in my upcoming writing. According to people who advocate that children should have their personal phones as they can ameliorate themselves in their
study
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 because in these days many websites which provide an appropriate knowledge regarding the
study
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. Apart from
this
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, mobile phone is not only suitable for
study
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 it will
also
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 bring up safety in a child's
life
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. In other word with the assistance of mobile phone parents can
also
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 find the location of their juveniles as well as in
such
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 critical circumstances they can
also
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 call to them.
On the other hand
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, due to some reasons parents argue that these mobile phones can let detrimental impact on their children
study
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 and
also
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 in
life
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. Chiefly, it can
also
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 distract the mind of children from their
study
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. They can be addicted to surfing the internet and playing games on cell phones.
As a result
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, they will not concentrate their
study
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 and end of the day they will obtain less marks in their academic.
Furthermore
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, everyone knows that many games and movies are glorified with violation scenes. After that, they will try these kind of antisocial activity in their real
life
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. Owing to which sometime they can stick into hurdles and can spoil their
life
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. To recapitulate, after analysing the whole writing. I concluded that parents should not give mobile phones to their children because its disadvantages are more dominant than advantages.
Submitted by balrajwriting9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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