IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think?

#countries #people #age #vote #country #marriage #license #etc…
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the countries think that people should do matured things like voting, marriage, getting driving license etc. At 30.Whereas, few countries think, a little younger would be better. I totally agree with the way that few countries think. When people are allowed to do these matured things before 30, they are in a situation to get into the world without the help of their parents. These experiences make them matured in their ideas and thoughts.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 gives knowledge to select their own career, life partner, etc. They become smart enough to survive in society, tackling all the odds to achieve beyond boundaries. Allowing them to do these things, make them more responsible very early.
For instance
Linking Words
 a 19 year old person is allowed to vote, he will definitely know the current political situation of his country. So having knowledge on these things, he would do the better things a citizen could contribute to the country’s development. Many countries think that people may go astray, if they are allowed to do these things before 30. But the connotations of it would be they won’t be ready to face challenges on their own, unable to make right decisions in critical situations. And
finally
Linking Words
, when they regret for their mistakes, they won’t be able to solve it. Because he may not be younger to correct it. If you ask me? People should make their own decisions from 18 not later at 30.
This
Linking Words
 decision making happens only when they are allowed to do these matured things when they are young and not exactly at 30.Considering the detrimental effects of doing matured things at 30 I think the way that the few countries think was right (I.e.,) doing these things before 30.
Submitted by danieldind395 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: